How to Help Your Child If They Are In The Cult

I've gotten several email requests from parents who have just discovered that their child's religion is the "no-name" cult.

This page is directed mostly to them. There are many ways you can help your child if they are in the 2x2 cult.

Your kids (no matter their age) have needs. They will go to sources they believe that can fill those needs.

Your Children Will Do What It Takes to Get Their Needs Met

They need: Air, Food, Water, Sexual gratification, Comfort, Assurance, Stability, Feel good about themselves etc. Of course you probably know these things. But making a point to make sure their needs are taken care of or that they have the life skills to meet these needs will help you be a solid point of moral support in their life.

Help Your Children With Their Needs in a Good Way

You have several things to your advantage in helping your child. First, you are their parent. Also, you already probably have their phone number, address and ways to reach them. Also, the cult is not interested in loving or taking care of your child. They are interested only in their attendance of the meetings and receiving financial support and encouragement from them. I suggest that you read through Mazlow's hierarchical list of needs to understand simply the needs of your child. You can help them with a place to stay if they need it. Connect them to friends. Send them birthday cards and anniversary cards (when appropriate). I highly recommend setting up weekly or every two week phone call habits to see how they are doing. Best to call them on weekdays when they can expect your call and not on meeting days (usually Sunday and Wed) when they are with the cult people. Either record the conversation or write down significant things that are happening in their lives. If they are having a moving party with the cult, maybe some of your friends can come help. This helps break the mind control and breaks the myth they teach that "people of the world are evil and will just use you".

You kids need to be heard. Your ability to listen to them without criticizing them is important. This way when they have an issue and they want to talk about it, they can turn to you. This is about the need to be heard in private. It doesn't mean you may agree with them, but it does mean that you can listen with the intent to really understand what they are going through and what they are trying to say. This will only help you to understand them and their needs better.

Your kids need to be loved. They need to know that you will always love them. This does not mean that you always agree with them or condone what they are doing. But they need to know that if anything goes wrong, you are still there for them. This does not mean you will enable them to do wrong.

Your kids need questions. The questions you ask them when they talk to you are the questions they ask others when others talk to them. For example, when you go to a hot dog stand, they ask you, "Would you like that with ketchup?". Then when you fix hot dogs for others, you will probably ask your friends you are serving "Would you like that with ketchup." Now take this a step further. When you take your kids to a religious business and ask them "What are your main teachings", then your kids will learn to ask the cult leaders "What are your main teachings?" Now take it even further. When you get answers from people, continue to ask questions like "What do you mean by tithing to the church?", so that your kids will answer further probing questions when they get answers from others. This is called clarification and it is used to combat word redefinition and promotes asking questions to preserver your life and give you more hope for your future.

Get Educated

You will need to learn about cycles. For example, if you raised your kids in a strict Catholic upbringing, it is very likely they will turn to the Bahai Faith or Unitarians to get the other side of the pendulum swing. If you raise your kids in a loving Christian environment, then they will learn law and love, good judgment and mercy. All kids need a balance. If you are tight-fisted, they will go the other way. They will do what they want no matter what you say. The 2x2 cult is a motley group from many religions (mostly from being raised in 2x2 cult though from indoctrination from youth up) and all of them are ignorant of the basic teachings of Christ. Again, get educated. Even if you never intend on being a Christian, read through the book of Matthew to at least learn what the gospel is. This way when you talk to your kids and they tell you that they believe in Christ, you will be able to ask reasonable questions. 2x2s are a pseudo-christian cult. They claim to believe in Christ, but don't. You need to know what they claim to believe before you an learn to ask the questions that will help your kids see that they are being lied to.

Get educated about your children's life. What is their favorite color? What do they like to eat? What are they doing for fun nowadays? Who are their friends (make a list, identify 2x2s)? When and where do they go to meetings? Who are the 2x2 workers in their fields? Who are the 2x2 elders in their Sunday AM meeting? Do they have any 2x2 friends? If so, who are they? The cult works through isolation and keeping relationships in the cult. They may try to move to break ties with their families. The cult does not like family values or good healthy family relationships. If you can find friends their age that they can relate to, it will help them think outside of the cult man made restrictions.

Learn the cult rules and work around them. If your child is opposed to TVs, then it's not a good idea to watch football (unless they really love football and secretly want to go to your place to watch) or some video. You can plan activities that are wholesome and healthy to avoid the cult thinking. Any good memories that you can build in your relationship that are outside the cult will help them to accept the basic teachings of Christ, which are 1) Love God 2) Love your neighbor as yourself.

Build a Friendship

Your kids need friends to talk to. You will always be their parent, but you better be approachable otherwise they will turn to someone else to confide in. Building a friendship is like building a fire. Start with the simple things that you agree on. Find common ground. If you are a Jew then you believe in the ten commandments. Most Christians believe in keeping 9 of the 10 commandments. That would be some common ground. Keep in regular contact. Listen well. Limit your contact so you don't overwhelm them. Spending too much time suddenly is like throwing a big log on a small fire. It will smother the fire.